Tuesday, September 7, 2010

FAQs



Have you ever become so annoyed with people sometimes that you just want to smack them.  Really hard. No, I mean really, really hard. We're talking I can see my rare double loop thumbprint on the side of their faces hard. (In light of what this country is becoming, I am not threatening anyone or group and am not planning a five state smacking spree.) We're on month F'ING FIFTEEN of all this construction BS. I would need to borrow that little take a number machine and line forms here sign from the BMV for all the people I'm thinking about. (Geez, that sounds like premeditation and not the yoga kind either.) The offenses I refer to earning my rare double loop thumbprint seal of disapproval are things like asking me when I'm going to do fill-in-the-blank. Doesn't matter what the fill-in-the-blank is. I'm standing there sweaty, dirty, panting like a dog chasing a rabbit that can't stop wagging his tail on an August afternoon,  and some dumb sh*t who's not sweaty and dirty, asks me when I'm going to do fill-in-the-blank....Here's a few more FAQs not to be missed. No, really, I'm not going to miss them.

Q: When are you going to fill-in-the-blank with a task I have not gotten to yet because I only have two hands and other things have a higher priority?

A: Heavy sigh, it's on the list.

Q: When are you going to fill-in-the-blank with yet another task?

A: It's on the list followed with a glare that stops further when are you going to fill-in-the-blank with task questions.

Q: We're just going to put that blue insulation board there...

A: NO. 

Q: You'll only see it when....

A: NO, NO, NO DAMMIT!

Q: How can your husband stand you?

A: Under my breath as I turn my back and walk away: Because he's not an idiotic, teeny, tiny, limp male member like you.

Q: Is such and such building material here yet?

A: Considering you asked for it 15 minutes before you needed it 15 minutes ago, NO.

Q: Do you want a dormer?

A: No

Q: Do you want a dormer?

A: No

Q: Do you want a dormer?

A: No

Q: Do you want a dormer?

A: No

Q: Do you want a dormer?

A: No

Q: Have you decided on the dormer yet?

A: Yeah, I don't want a GD dormer, put the f'ing stairs in anyway they'll fit and I'll deal with zoning.

Q: You know what you should do?

A: Take a spa vacation after I whoop your butt.

Q: Solar? Why solar? What about the snow? Why not wind? What are you going to do when the sun doesn't shine for days and days on end? Can you read my mind that I think you and your husband are stupid? Rat-tat-tat-tat.

A #1: SHRIEK, like I think like I'm going to faint. Excuse me while I go like call The Husband and let him know that like, oh my ga-hod, sometimes the sun doesn't shine. 

A #2: I'm going to come over to your house with all my cats, sit on your favorite chairs, put my feet on your coffee table in the one tiny spot that there isn't one of my cats, and eat all the food in your refrigerator after I stand there with the door open all day after I run around and turn every light on in your house. And if you really piss me off, I'm going to break open cans of tuna and throw catnip all over your carpet like it was one of those vacuum up room fresheners (she smiled sweetly). 

A #3 (for those that genuinely want to know how this whole solar thing works): The Husband took a 40 hour workshop and learned how to examine our usage, determine our needs, consider our goals, study the weather information and size the system. (I'm not sure how many install hours he has/needs to go to be a certified installer.) The big thing when you're not tied into the grid and you've got some overcast periods is battery storage. There's where the budget and space available come into the equation. Depending on what I'm doing, I have anywhere from three to six days of "juice" stored in the batteries. Even on overcast days, the panels are producing power. It's the sun's radiation. That's why you can get a sunburn on a cloudy day. And finally, there's a generator for that. As for snow, the PV array is just like a car windshield - wipe it off if the sun doesn't come out enough to melt it off. As for wind, recently in the world of wind, there is a turbine that has caught The Husband's attention. Other than that, there's one out there that is a real workhorse that is just waaaay out of our league financially speaking. Up to this latest turbine that he's watching, the rest are down a lot and require maintenance that won't work for our situation right now. And thank you for your genuine interest when we've been working so hard on our dream 25 years in the making.


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