Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Measure of a Man

The tractor gets it's picture in the blog because it worked really hard yesterday and never complained. Well, I have firewood put up in the barn. Things did not go smoothly. Heavy sigh. Shaking head. I, personally, am sick of hearing myself tell what is becoming the same ole story when it comes to dealing with what is becoming too many of a certain type of man. It was a man that recently told me, point blank, that there are a lot of men up here that don't like to take orders from a woman. First of all, I don't order. I ask. I say please and thank you. Yes, I was raised in a barn but I was still taught manners. I work hard and I genuinely appreciate when someone lends a hand and/or works with me in the spirit of getting things done. My temperament, life experience, and especially the last six month's events, doesn't find me in a place where I'm able to tolerate much, if any, disrespectful treatment. The human mind is associative. I want to put a label on this group of men. One that I can use in public. I have plenty of politically incorrect labels that try to work their way up from under my breath and which I do NOT use when I'm standing my ground while some less-than-a-man man talks to me in a way that he would not be talking to me if my 6' beefcake of a husband were standing next to me. Speaking of The Husband, let's talk about the "good man" group. Whenever I hear someone repeat the same situation occurring over and over again for them, I have to consciously work to keep my eyebrows level. So, I'm looking in the mirror and asking, "Why? How is this your fault?" I realized that I have been and am VERY fortunate to be surrounded by really good men - The Husband, my brother, and a couple of men that we have met over the last six months and who we now consider friends. And of course, my dad. My dad is an amazing man. He worked for Ford Motor Company for over 30 years and if you actually went by hours, it was darned near double that with all the over time he worked. Somehow, he must be able to bend time or something, he was also able to keep the yard (we're talking 10 acres) looking like a golf course and all the vehicles we owned maintained (oil changes) and vacuumed, washed and waxed. Then he'd lend a hand with the horses. AND, he ran in and completed the Boston Marathon! While we never wanted for anything because of my father's (and mother's - but that's another blog entry) hard work, we learned to work hard. In thinking about this, I can see my father in my brother. Also, I can see where both my sister and I have compared men to the standard that our father set. With a standard that high, it probably is setting myself up for difficulties in dealing with other men. Eventually, what always happens will happen. I will feel compassion for these less-than-a-man men because they are insecure human beings who have not been as fortunate as I have been and am to be surrounded by the golden standard of a man and I will find my tolerance again so I will be able to deal with "these same ole stories" without high blood pressure. In the meantime, I have some nice firewood put up in the barn. Oh, and, you're welcome, darn it, for pulling you out of the snow and helping you unload the wood while you grumbled about being tired and weren't being paid enough money for all your trouble.

1 comment:

Nina said...

Well said...about the men. The high standards can make it difficult though. Sometimes I expect every man to be like dad and brother but thanks for the reminder of why they aren't, that helps me keep my expectations real. Take care SISTER